what if
what if when I die they throw away all my cool stuff
what if we go away and the house floods
what if I run out of food or money
what if I forget to tidy up before I go out
what if the neighbours plot against me
what if I never get better at phone calls
what if I can’t make it happen again
what if a mouse comes in and eats the cereal
what if I end up in a wheelchair
what if the drains block and the house fills up with sewage right to the top and I can’t clear it up
what if one of my children dies
one of the babies I fed at my breast
what if I never amount to anything
what if I’m never quite good enough
what if the roof falls in and lands on me when I’m asleep
what if the computer crashes and I lose all the photos
what if someone asks me to make a painting of horses for them
I can’t draw horses
what if rain gets into my studio
or mice or that squirrel
what if I wake up and my faith is all a muddled up fairy story
what if I don’t wake up
what if the Citilink man kills me
what if I make jam and it doesn’t set and I give a pot to a neighbour and she gets botulism
TM January 2012
Footnote: I have actually worried about all these things. It’s a special skill.
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